Monday, May 25, 2009


"D’Mello, too, was gone. Perhaps he was not dead. Perhaps he had simply gone home, at last, to his storied city of Mumbai, on the country’s other coast, that city which was neither of the north nor of the south but a frontierville, the greatest, most wondrous, and most dreadful of all such places, the megalopolis of the borderlands, the place of in-between."

Salman Rushdie (In The South)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This One's For You, Termi

Statutory warning: This could get sentimental


A few hours ago, doubts were raised, and words were spoken. And the look on our face stayed with me. You know the one when you turned your face and looked me in the eye. I tried to avoid that gaze, but there are some things in the world that you just can’t avoid. That look on your face which told me just how badly you want this to work out. I knew it all along; you’ve spoken about it often, how badly you want to get into NALSAR, and how these two years come to naught if you don’t make it.

But Termi, this is not the end. Look at the larger picture, and you’ll see it’s just the beginning. We’re 18 years old, we have all our limbs intact, we have a home to go after goofing at Acro’s place, and well, we have goofing at Acro’s place. And Termi, the most important thing is that we have each other (Go away, Sentimentality. Today let me speak.) We might not have a law school after all this ends, but I think what we have here is more valuable than the best law school in the world and a placement in a New York law office put together. (And we can still have a law school. Like I said, it’s not yet over. It never is.)

Okay, so we might not get to hang out when, and if, we go separate ways. We might make new friends, and probably things would never be the same again. But nothing in the world, not Catherine Zeta-Jones, not Fundoo’s hot law school senior, not Paarth’s new bandmates, not Penelope Cruz, not Abhi’s lake, not Acro’s Daniel Craig, and not your Sherwood, nothing can take away all the goofing we’ve done for the past few months. Only amnesia maybe can take it all away, or Alzheimer’s, but it’s allowed (Fundoo-style “It’s allowed”) not to take that into account.

You told me that I don’t know what you feel like, because I’ve always been consistent and I’ve always done well. Maybe you’re right; I don’t know what it’s like. It’s like Bombay Masala; you don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve had it. But Termi, this is just one aspect of my life. There are things that I’ve wanted as badly as you want this, and I’ve not got them. Most of the times, I didn’t have the guts, Termi. I didn’t have the bloody guts to put in all in a heap and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss. But you HAVE the guts. You might not have done too well on the first mock, but you picked yourself up, dusted yourself down, and kept walking. You worked harder, you stayed up nights, you OD’ed on coffee, and just basically, you hung in there, Termi and by doing so, you showed that you’re going to stick it out till the very end. How can you be a failure after that? And I use the word failure, because that’s what you said you thought of yourself. You read so much more, you quizzed us, you watched movies, and basically, took part in all the stuff we did, without a shade of reluctance or insecurity.

You said two years will be wasted if you don’t make it. But nothing is ever wasted. Not time, not random facts from the Chronicle. Subconsciously, it’s all shaping us, and changing perspectives. And of course, the time we spent on Killer is never wasted. Now you know that you don’t do the cop move when you get the Jack of Spades. Who knows, man, one day, in a casino in Barcelona, you don’t do the cop move, and you win a yacht or something.

Maybe what I said came across as harsh but you know what I meant. You know exactly what I meant. But in case you think I offended you in any way, I apologize. Full and unconditional apology.

Okay so you might not have Russel Crowe's abs or intensity or skirt, but you need to think of yourself as Maximus. They throw you in the Colosseum, but you fight, because you have to. You fight with strength and honour. You don’t fall on your knees and surrender. You look life straight in the eye, and say, “Game on, bitch. Game on.”

Go nail it, Termi.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

10 English Sentences for Fabio Capello

We, at A Gallon of Butterbeer are a helpful bunch. And we know that England national football team boss Fabio Capello needs a little help with his English. So, our ever-thoughtful sportswriter came up with a list of 10 English sentences that the Italian manager might find useful

1. I’ve had enough of these goalkeeper buffoons, I wish Gigi Buffon was English

2. I was wondering if Frank and John will be allowed to play in a Chelsea shirt, because then they won’t act like they’ve never kicked a ball in their life

3. Nice suit, David. I must tell Armani I’d like a similar one

4. Rio, if I ever catch you trying to steal John’s Captain Armband again, I will bench you for the rest of your career

5. I know you won’t slip again, John, but you will NOT take a penalty

6. Theo, you will not wear that ‘I love Ericsson’ T-shirt to training ever again. And the same goes to you, David.

7. Wayne, you need to lose some weight

8. I will not tolerate late nights and any other kind of indiscipline. I’m not bloody Steve McLaren

9. This English weather is so depressing

10. Yes, yes, I know that you’ll won the World Cup in ’66.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


A laptop crash is possibly the crappiest thing that can happen to a person. It's right up there with a crappy internet connection. And it happened to me. As if a crappy internet connection was not enough.

Actually, things were pretty hunky dory in the run-up to the crash. My net connection was faster than it had ever been, and summer had really kicked into Bombay. Just like always. And then it had to happen. Without any warning, just like that, CRASH. My laptop simple refused to start.

So, I take my computer to the engineer, and he told me that things were pretty messed up. And he said he'd try and see if he can do something about it, without me having to get a new hard disk. Three days later I get my laptop back, with a new hard disk.

So now I've spent the past couple of days getting the house in order; downloading my applications, re-installing my games and basically, trying to get my laptop to look like it did before.

And I've also been wondering about how the urge to blog is inversely proportional to the number of days left for an exam. Just before my boards, I found myself writing a new draft every two days. And now, I can't think of anything to post about.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The One Where The Illiterate Person Sells All Books For "Paani-Puri"

A literate person derives more utility by reading books. But an illiterate person may not read but sell all such books for the sake of "Paani-Puri"

- Refresher Course Economics Std XII

An industry consists of different groups. Let us take the example of 'Cloth Industry'. In cloth industry one group specializes on suitings, another on shirts, the third one on banians and so on.

- Economics Text Book Std XII

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


These days, I've been listening to that Masakalli gaana from Delhi 6 almost 30 times a day. Problem is that I can't listen to the whole song, because I listen to it on TV.

See, I heard the song for the first time on TV and then I was addicted. So, the natural course of action was downloading the gaana, and that is what I did. I listened to it on my computer, but it just didn't sound the same. As in, I didn't feel like playing it again and again. Which caused me to come to the conclusion that I'm over it.

Then, I heard it on TV again. And I wanted to hear it again and again. So, I kept surfing music channels until I found one playing the song. Once the song was over on that channel, I would surf the other channels and would only stop when I came upon the song again. And since there a good 8 music channels that play the song at regular intervals, I had to deal with disappointments such as being able to catch only the last bit of the song on the 8th channel, because I had been busy surfing the first 7 channels.

And then it hit me. I don't like the song. I like the video. I like a beautiful Indian woman doing the Egyptian dance with a pigeon on her head. I like Sonam Kapoor.

And I like to wonder who I'm talking to.